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Tuesday

God Announces Presidential Run In A WDS Exclusive!! Or, Stand Up And Be Smited...Can God Unite The Partisans Into Believers Or Will The Sea Stayed Parted?

Instant Frontrunner...Or, Just Another Sideshow? God Enters 2012 Presidential Race
Tired of being sited and misquoted by a Republican presidential candidate field with no clear frontrunner, God has announced that he will be running for president in the 2012 election. The deity will run on the strength of his proven leadership experience in creating the universe - a claim widely disputed by Democratic partisans. God has eschewed both leading political parties, running as the ultimate independent. The announcement comes ahead another expected announcement for the presidential candidacy by Satan, who some say is silently being backed by Democrats in a bid to challenge current president Barak Obama for his own parties' nomination. While rare, it is not an unprecedented move in presidential politics – happening as recently as 1980 with Ted Kennedy challenging, then incumbent president, Jimmy Carter. God hopes his creation of man will bode well for his chances in the election but those who oppose his run cite this a political liability given the high numbers of unemployed who currently identify as being men. This puts several Republican presidential candidates in a lurch as they have borrowed liberally from "The Creator's" playbook, laid out in his extensive autobiography widely released in 1611, entitled “The King James Bible”. With so many polls indicating the economy and jobs as the top priority God would seem to have a leg up on the rest of the crowded field.

Potential Running Mate, Jesus H. Christ
His announcement was made in the tiny town of Baxter, Iowa as he took to the podium to popular Carrie Underwood hit, "Jesus Take the Wheel". Many say God's son Jesus is a strong contender as a presidential running mate but may be more polarizing politically. “Republocrat”, Joesph Lieberman welcomed God into the race but tempered his enthusiasm by reminding people of the flip flopping in tone and the more left-leaning ideas contained in the new Testament - an argument sure to be explored and hammered by Repulican's and Democrats alike. God could draw on an impressive list of names for his cabinet should he get elected. Moses, John the Baptist, and Joan of Arc are just a few of the names many consider to be explored for top cabinet positions. There has been some backlash since the announcement came, with many questioning whether we need another old, white, moral conservative in the field.

WDS will be hosting its first presidential debate sometime in early 2012 with WDS's Galvin (from WDS's HIT SHOW "Galvin") acting as moderator. This presidential debate will be unique in that candidates will not be allowed to speak - testing the popular assumption that if politicians lips are moving, then they must be lying. This would appear to give God a distinct advantage given his ability to work in mysterious ways, moves those that oppose God's presidential run consider pandering and lacking real substance. With all the political posturing going on God should add a needed gravitas as the election cycle gets into full-swing.

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