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Bob Duvet Gets Exclusive Access To Kreayshawn @ SOBE's Mansion: "One BIg Club Full Of Mediocre Bitches..." PLUS! A Fistful Of Furries...AND! Much Anticpated Matchup Between Dolphins And Radiers Goes To The Dolphins...

Light em' up! Kreayshawn surrounded by HYPE! photo..HFC
Bob Duvet took his blogging Dog & Pony show on the road to Miami Beach this past Friday night. Armed with nothing but a "banana sling", Axe body spray, and a soon to be maxed out credit card, he descended on South Beach to support the Yeah Area's own, Kreayshawn. First off, BIG UPS to the fine folks at Exclusive Access/EAN5's and Thaddeus McAdams for hooking me and the Mrs. up with two FREE passes to one of SOBEs HOTTEST clubs, Mansion. I highly suggest you go and check out both Exclusive Access' and Mansion's websites because in both cases, "a picture says a 1,000 words..." Mansion is undeniably, like Miami, a one of a kind playground, with an AMAZING sound system. Friday night's DJs AFFECT and EFX knew how to get the most out of it - playing a SLAMMIN' mix of hip-hop backed by some hard-hitting house music. The accompanying light show, dance floor replete with stripper poles and manned by some of the FINEST dancers to work said poles, and a provocative coupling of two furries in the middle of the VIP, set the stage for Kreayshawn's Miami Beach debut. Kreayshawn is riding a hype wave generated by the viral success of her video for the song "Gucci, Gucci". The young rapper/video director/budding fashion icon/SWAG -generator/Twitter feed-a-holic and rumored to be a signee to a multi-million dollar record deal with Columbia, was in Miami to play a set as part of Mansion's "We Rock Hip-Hop" event. Yours truly, while a veteran of many club shows, admittedly, is not as well-versed in the nuances of Da Club shows, so the expected set time of 1am came and went without so much as a fist pump from the clubbers in the direction of the performer and her crew gathered in the VIP to the right of the stage.
One VIP full of bad by HFC
Kreayshawn, V-Nasty, various dopplegangers and attendant crew happily texted away and snapped camera phones pics of each other flipping the bird. SWAG. This went on for close to 90 minutes with the DJ revving up the crowd only to have someone whisper in his ear that there were still Tweets to deliver and birds to be flipped. This was a bit of a disappointment to the faithful gathered in front just outside the VIP's hazy Valhalla. Kreayshawn's army were ready and awaiting their MOBBIN' orders! Bartenders and dancers alike were festooned in over-sized, black-rimmed eyeware and Edie Sedgwick eye makeup, in contrast to all the, "Gucci Gucci, Louie Louie, Fendi Fendi, Prada..." toting "basic bitches".  We were ready for the Bay Area to represent and blanket Miami Beach in SWAG fog. We waited and no one seemed to care one way or the other. Just one BIG room full of bad bitches and the men who love them. By the time Kreayshawn and crew hit the stage (and by crew I mean anyone who happened to be remotely connected to her entourage) at 2:45am any good will and hype that I felt going in was squandered. Maybe I don't quite understand the idea of partying with your friends, just out of reach but in full view of your fans, is supposed to endear me further to a performer. It all felt just a little douchey, for lack of a better word. I'm told it was V-Nasty's birthday, which might explain why the DJ prior to Kreayshawn's set seemed preoccupied with asking, "WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS IT UP N HER'?!?!" Regardless, I would have thought KILLIN' one of the top club spots in the country/world would have been a higher priority for both Kreayshawn and V-Nasty. Instead, those that were anxious to see what all the fuss was about got treated to a two song set of "Bumpin' Bumpin" and "Gucci Gucci".
"Bumpin, Bumpin" with somethin by HFC
That's right, two songs...six minutes. Kreayshwan was no match for the sound system or Grey Goose being passed around prior to her taking the stage. Both rappers affected the same indistinguishable tone - somewhere between a whine and a thugged-out cadence delivered under the effect of helium. There was little energy in the performance and no attempt at puttin' the smack down on SOBE. It felt a lot like watching Kreayshawn's hometown Oakland Raider fans all decked out in make-up and ghoulish costumes menacing for the television cameras, while the team on the field limps to a 4-12 finish. Earlier in the day my wife and I coincidentally ran into the diminutive rapper at a pizza place on Lincoln Road. She was sweet and seemed excited to be in Miami for the first time. I wish that enthusiasm made its way onto the stage at Mansion.  I had seen Kreayshawn in August at San Francisco's Slim's where she delivered a high octane and focused 35 minute set. She hit the stage with energy, purpose, and tons of her signature SWAG! Where was that girl in Miami Beach?

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